Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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