You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Four minutes until I can fart!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
