And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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