i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize