OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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