TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
