sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
