so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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