I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
