How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize