Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
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