forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
