she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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