Just fell off a train. Bad.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
