I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
