Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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