Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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