I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
