Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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