i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
