Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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