Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
