Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Be still, my beating vagina.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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