true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
