I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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