Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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