your thong is hanging out like whoa
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
