Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
