I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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