This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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