You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I FOUND THE LEGS
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
