it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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