I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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