glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
