that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
