never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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