Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
