I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
