it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize