you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
