You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
