I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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