He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
