This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
