Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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