So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
