I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
