he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize