Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Ladies don't puke and tell
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
