What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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