so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's never too late to be topless.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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