Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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