is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
