Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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