you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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