I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
